History of etiquette. The word Etiquette came from an old French word meaning ticket or label. From the 1500's through the early 1900's, children learned about etiquette at school. Nevertheless etiquette has changed and evolved over the years. In French, the word "etiquette" has been described as the one word that aptly describes life during the reign of Queen Victoria.
In ( 2414-2375 BC) Ptahhotep, (ptāħ ħwtp, sometimes known as Ptahhotpe or Ptah-Hotep, was an ancient Egyptian official during the late 25th century BC and early 24th century BC) wrote The Maxims of Ptahhotep. The Maxims are conformist precepts extolling such civil virtues as truthfulness, self-control and kindness towards one's fellow beings. Learning by listening to everybody and knowing that human knowledge is never perfect are a leitmotif. Avoiding open conflict wherever possible should not be considered weakness. Justice should be pursued and in the end it will be a god's command that prevails. Some of the maxims refer to one's behavior when in the presence of the great, how to choose the right master and how to serve him. Others teach the correct way to lead through openness and kindness. Greed is the base of all evil and should be guarded against, while generosity towards family and friends is praiseworthy. From: Ancient Egypt encyclopedia.
The philosophy of Confucius (Chinese teacher, editor, politician, and philosopher) emphasized personal and governmental morality, correctness of social relationships, justice and sincerity.
King Louis XIV (1638-1718), transformed a royal hunting lodge in Versailles, a village 25 miles southwest of the capital, into one of the largest palaces in the world, officially moving his court and government there in 1682. It was against this awe-inspiring backdrop that Louis tamed the nobility and impressed foreign dignitaries, using entertainment, ceremony and a highly codified system of etiquette to assert his supremacy.
Rules of etiquette encompass most aspects of social interaction in any society, though the term itself is not commonly used. A rule of etiquette may reflect an underlying ethical code, or it may reflect a person's fashion or status. Rules of etiquette are usually unwritten, but aspects of etiquette have been codified from time to time.
Modern etiquette provides the smallest numbers and types of utensils necessary for dining. Only utensils which are to be used for the planned meal should be set. Even if needed, hosts should not have more than three utensils on either side of the plate before a meal. If extra utensils are needed, they may be brought to the table along with later courses.
A table cloth extending 10–15 inches past the edge of the table should be used for formal dinners, while placemats may be used for breakfast, luncheon, and informal suppers. Candlesticks, even if not lit, should not be on the table while dining during daylight hours.
If food must be removed from the mouth for some reason, a diner should subtly bring the napkin to his/her mouth (as if to wipe his/her mouth) and quietly spit out the food into the napkin, which is then returned to the lap (while still concealing the partially chewed inedibles). The diner thus avoids insulting the cook/host since the process is nearly indistinguishable from merely wiping one's mouth. An exception is that fish bones may be removed from the mouth between the fingers.
The fork may be used in the American style (in the left hand while cutting and in the right hand to pick up food) or the European Continental style (fork always in the left hand). The napkin should be left on the seat of a chair only when leaving temporarily. Upon leaving the table at the end of a meal, the napkin is placed loosely on the table to the left of the plate.
Basic Table Setting
For a basic table setting, here are two great tips to help you -- or your kids -- remember the order of plates and utensils:
- The order, left to right, is: Fork, Plate, Knives and Spoons.
- Bread and butter go to the left of the place setting and drinks go
on the right.
- Knife blades always face the plate.
- The napkin goes to the left of the fork, or on the plate.
- The bread and butter knife are optional.
Below is an example of a formal place setting which is similar but slightly different and has more utensils.
Basic Etiquette for everyday situations.
1. Wait for everyone to be served
If you're seated at a table with eight or fewer guests, wait for everyone to be served and for the hostess to begin eating before you dig in. At a long banquet table, it's OK to start when several people are seated and served.
2. Keep your things off the table
All things not having to do with food (and decoration) should remain off the table: keys, clutch bags, i-pods, tablets, sunglasses, phones.
3. Don't text at the table
If you're in a situation where you'd excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, you should also excuse yourself before reaching for your phone.
4. If you prefer not to have wine while dining out, don't turn your glass upside down
Don't make a big deal of saying you don't drink. Simply place your fingertips on the rim of the glass and say "No thank-you." This implies no judgment of those who wish to imbibe (drink alcohol).
5. Practice good speakerphone manners
Don't use a speakerphone unless you're alone or holding a meeting that's being attended by someone relevant . Alert the person you're speaking with that others are present, and close the door. FYI: Using a speakerphone at full volume to go through your voice mailbox is the definition of annoying if others are present.
6. Whoever arrives at a door first holds it for the next person
It doesn't matter the gender of either.
7. Keep your cell phone out of the conversation
When talking to someone in person, don't glance down at your cell phone to see who's trying to reach you. This includes when ordering something from a restaurant, paying for something in a check out line (any check out line) or anytime that you are desiring service from another person.
