I have noticed that a lot of people have been having friends or family pass away lately. (I know downer subject but needs to be addressed.) There are phases that people go through when experiencing grief. There is an initial feeling loss, sadness, anger, and denial that one goes through and, yes it is possible to feel all those things in one day, which for a lack of better terms makes us feel like we are crazy. At times shakes us to core testing our faith in everything not just spiritually. Essentially leading us to possible feelings of guilt or anger. The why did this have to happen to her/him? The questioning of our own understandings on whatever issues the person we are grieving for had or suffered through. Was it the medication? if only we were there for that minute would it have been different? was she/he alone? Did I make a difference? All these things accumulate and ferment growing inside leading us to a path of self destruction………. unless we take care of them and deal with them when we see them rear their ugly heads. Sometimes we may need the help of a Doctor or some type of therapist.
Believe it or not grief is a good thing it allows us the ability to come to terms with our loss and deal with any lingering loose ends and try to learn from them and start the healing process. A broken heart is never the same but the lessons we learn when we choose to look at how it has begun to mend we can take into the rest of our lives and apply them there so those same mis-steps are never taken again. I learned that this time. In 2002 when my grandfather died I ignored my gut feeling to go and visit him. I got a call at 6 am the next morning after having a dream that he passed that he did indeed pass away. February 12th 2018 I got a text message from my cousin stating my grandmother wasn’t doing well. I immediately had the feeling that I needed to be there. I went with my husband. We arrived around 9:30 am She passed away at 11:11 am with my husband and I in the room. The fact that it happened so fast took us all by surprise, my uncle didn’t even have the chance to come and see her.
Before she passed, I knew she was afraid because she had expressed this to me before she was sick because, we wasn't a believer due to what happened with my mom. (She passed 17 years ago this past January.) I was able to be there for her during her transition and I knew at that time she was no longer afraid because I was there and I let her know that her family was waiting for her. I felt her energy leave the room quite literally it was like a vacuum. Being there for her in that moment closed all those guilty feelings for me for those who went on before me. Yes I am sad that she is gone and I will miss her until I can see her again, but I know where she is. I know she loved me and my family and she was so very proud of me and all that I have accomplished so far. I am so glad for the lessons tha tshe taught me in love and life and for how much she loved my children. They were lucky to have had so much time with her. We are blessed that much is for sure. I know through Jesus Christ that we can and will be together again. I can not wait for that moment! What a blessing! For now though she is where she needs to be catching up with her family on the otherside of the veil. Hopefully I will dream of her soon.
